


Got Our WIRES Crossed

by WildLioness



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 'daddy bellamy' - to a wallaby, ALTERNATIVELY, F/M, Snakes, Wires, australian wildlife!!, be warned, if you don't like snakes, platonic bro-larke, snakes in a house, this will not be good for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildLioness/pseuds/WildLioness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing spoils a morning like an Eastern Brown under your stove.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Our WIRES Crossed

**Author's Note:**

> If you are not fond of snakes, avoid. If you are not fond of people commenting on shovels and snakes, avoid.  
> This is set in a vaguely Australia-like setting, because that's where I'm from :) and that's the wildlife I know. My snake information is not entirely accurate, but play along.

It’s eight am. Clarke is fresh out of the shower, with her day off only just beginning. Everything is good; up until she walks into her kitchen for her morning coffee and discovers a good few feet of curled up Eastern Brown snake glaring angrily at her from under the stove. 

“Shit.” It’s not the Clarke hates snakes. She doesn’t. Snakes are fine, in the wild, where they belong. Snakes, especially the notoriously grumpy eastern brown, do not belong in her shitty apartment. Living on the edge of gorgeous bushland sometimes does not live up to expectations. By moving into the kitchen, she has startled it, which is very bad. Clarke does not own a shovel (the normal way to dispose of large, unwanted snake-like reptiles making house in your house), due to the joys of city living and cross-country moving. 

No shovel - issue number one.

Leaving the room, Clarke heads for her hiking boots. She’s not going to get bitten cause she tried to kill this thing in flip-flops, for god’s sake. 

Frying pan? Clarke grimaces. If she hit it with a frying pan she is both, one; within striking distance and two; within splattering distance. Plus, if she misses, she’s gonna get bit, or chased through her apartment, and then bit. It’s a given. Brown snakes don’t like anything, including people, or rocks or, well, even other brown snakes. 

The third option, which is probably also the most reasonable, is to call animal rescue. Some girl in her building was handing out flyers for WIRES the other day, and Clarke distinctly remembers putting it on her fridge. Unfortunately, fridge = kitchen. Kitchen = snake. Snake = shitty day off. 

Clarke can vaguely recall some kind of snakebite safety lesson from school. Snakes track movement, so all she needs to do is distract it for long enough to get the flyer. The vacuum and broom, while both long enough, currently reside in the tall cabinet, which is located in the back of the kitchen. This brings her choices down to chair (too big), paintbrush (too small) or various clothing items.  
You can see where this is going, right?

And so, determination etched on her face, Clarke Griffin faces down a large, semi-pissed off snake armed with a pink hoodie from her laundry basket.  
Everything slows. Clarke makes a brilliant throw, the hoodie arcing towards the snake as she lunges for the jaunty looking flyer on the fridge. The snake strikes the hoodie, and then it lands, obscuring its head. Clarke leaps out of the kitchen and slams shut the sliding door.  
“Fuck yeah.” Riding on the adrenaline high of not being bitten by one of the world’s top ten most dangerous snakes, she dials the number on the flyer.  
“Hello?”  
“Hi, is this the number for WIRES? I’ve got a snake in my kitchen.“  
“Yes, this is Bellamy from WIRES. What kind of snake? Is it stationary?”  
“It’s a brown snake. It was, kind of, stationary. I had to get the flyer, and it was in the kitchen, and, so, the snake has a jumper on it right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s still there.” The adrenaline is wearing off a little now, and Clarke feels like a bit of a dipshit. She threw a jumper on a snake because she didn’t have a shovel.  
“Ok. Where are you? Make sure the snake is staying where it is, so shut the door, or box it in.”  
“I’m at 150 Ark Rd, apartment 10.” Hopefully this guy is nearby, the snake will be gone, and she can have brunch with Raven.  
“Weatherden apartments? Number 10?” Now Bellamy sounds a little confused.  
“Yes? Is there an issue?” Clarke is a little concerned for her brunch plans, and also, the angry snake in her kitchen.  
“No, no. Just, wait one minute.” Bellamy sounds like he’s moving.  
There is a knock on her door. Clarke heads over and opens it, to find a tall man with dark curls at her door. He’s got a phone to one ear and a baby carrier strapped to his chest.  
“Hi, I’m your neighbour Bellamy. I also happen to be the WIRES guy. Nice to meet you. “ He hangs up the phone and holds out a hand.  
“Clarke. I’m the girl with the angry brown snake in her kitchen.” She shakes his hand as a small, furred foot appears from the baby carrier. “Ohh, not a baby baby you’ve got there.”  
“No, this is Zoob. She’s a five-week-old rock wallaby. A car killed her mother last week.” He smiles and rubs the foot before tucking it back into the blankets in the baby carrier. “Let’s see this snake of yours.”

Clarke invites him into her apartment, headed for the kitchen. “It’s a little mad right now because I threw a jumper on it.” Opening the sliding door, she gestures towards her stove. Thankfully, the jumper is still on the floor, the snake half hidden under it.  
“That is a very large snake.” Bellamy unclipped the baby carrier from his chest and slung it carefully across the back of one of Clarke’s dining chairs. “Let me get my stuff and I’ll be right back.” He disappeared back into the hall, presumably to get his snake catching kit. 

Clarke shut the door to the kitchen once again, and moved to get a sneaky peak at Bellamy’s baby (the wallaby, obviously). It was all tucked up in a flannel pillowcase, wide eyes and copper to cream coloured fur on its tiny body.  
“Oh, sweetheart. You are adorable, aren’t you?” She didn’t want to disturb the tiny animal, especially since it had only recently been introduced to people.  
“She’s a cutie-pie, isn’t she?” Bellamy had returned with both the quintessential ‘snake’ bag and hooked pole used in captures. “You can pet her feet, really softly, if she pops them out the top.”

“How many snakes have you caught?” Clarke stood at the kitchen door while Bellamy moved into the room, hook and bag at the ready.  
“Ah, not many.”  
“How many is ‘not many’?”  
“Three.”

Bellamy was cautiously lifting the pile of pink material from where it had been concealing part of the snake. It appeared to have calmed, as the chocolate coloured snake did not strike at him, merely hissed and wound itself tighter. Slipping the hooked end of the pole under the snake’s midsection, Bellamy gestured to Clarke.  
“Come and hold this bag for me.” 

Clarke reached for the handle of the cream coloured bag, holding it away from her.  
Bellamy dropped into a squat, watching the snake closely as he reached for its tail. Gripping the thin tail between his thumb and forefinger, he stood slowly, bringing the snake up with him. Clarke had seen enough snake demonstrations to know to lower the bag so Bellamy could deposit the snake inside it headfirst, before handing it back to him so he could twist the top of the bag over itself, containing the serpent. 

“Congrats, your snake total is now four.” Clarke headed for the coffee pot that had been her focus at the start of this interesting day. “Want a coffee?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you are sadly unaware of what a baby rock wallaby looks like, from my shitty description, I have discovered this  
> ( https://igcdn-photos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t51.2885-15/11202985_1629838673941387_209836813_n.jpg ) picture to help you. I do not own this picture, and make no claims to it.
> 
> Eastern Brown Snakes are venomous snakes that live in most regions of the East coast of Australia. They will go you. I am not kidding. They will chase you down and bite you. Compared to, say, Red-Bellied Black Snakes (another common species), Brown snakes are vicious little buggers. I have them both in my yard, and on one unfortunate occasion, in my house. While, I am pretty sure it's illegal to kill them, if they are in our house or yard, we do, because it's a pain to call animal rescue every time it happens, and to keep ourselves safe.
> 
> WIRES is the NSW Wildlife Information Rescue and Education Service. They pick up animals that have been injured, baby animals with the parent killed, etc.


End file.
